Lost Dog.

A traveler comes to rest at a monistry high in the hills. He spends the night in a dormitory full of monks. During the night the monks take turns shouting out numbers 25...peels of laughter 40! is followed by much hooting...At breakfat the next morning the traveler asks one of the monks what was going on...the monk tells him that all the monks have heard each others jokes so often that now they have numbered them so they just have to shout out the numbers to save time.That night the traveler decides to join in....after a few numbers have been shouted out he tries his hand....19! he cries to be met with stoney silence....47! nothing....he gives up and falls asleep a little perplexed....The next morning at breakfast he asked one of the monks if 19 and 47 were not amoung thier numbered jokes as no one had laughed.....No thats not it said the monk.
.Some people just cant tell em....47 is an absolute belter....

(",)

A little girl asked her Mum, "Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the park?" Mum replies, "No, because she is in heat" "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your Dad. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Daddy, may I take Pippa for a walk around the park? I asked my Mum, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you." Dad said, "Umm bring Pippa over here." He took a rag, soaked it with petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said "OK, you can go now, but keep Pippa on the lead and only go one time round the park." The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the lead. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Pippa?"

(YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS)

The little girl said, "She ran out of petrol about halfway down the Park road.......... So another dog is pushing her home.

(",)

Kiss my nose

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily Iraq briefing. Heconcludes by saying: "Unfortunately, yesterday 3 Brazilian soldierswerekilled.""OH JESUS H CHRIST, NO!" President Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!"His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watchingasthe President sits, head in hands.Finally, the President looks up and asks,"Exactly how many is a brazillion?"

(",)

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

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It was a meal time during a trip on a small airline in the south. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attended asked the man seated in front of me. "What are my choices?" he asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

(",)

Offside rule explained for women !

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant working the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has also seen them and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting. Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, whilst it is in flight you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes, always remembering that until the purse had actually been thrown it would be just plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper. Understand it now Poppet?

Learn to play the Manchester United way!

And the wages are good as well as the perks.

Moving on ..... After marrying a young woman, a 90-year-old man told his doctor that they were expecting a baby. "Let me tell you a story," said the doctor. "An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he brought an umbrella. Suddenly a bear charged at him. Pointing his umbrella at the bear, he shot and killed it on the spot." "Impossible!" the geezer exclaimed. "Somebody else must have shot that bear." "Exactly," replied the doctor. (",)

* TEACHER : Thomas, go to the map and find North America. * Thomas : Here it is! * TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS : Thomas!

(",)

* TEACHER : Thomas, how do you spell "crocodile"? * Thomas : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" * TEACHER : No, that's wrong * Thomas : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

(",)

* TEACHER : Thomas, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ? * Thomas: No, teacher, it's the same dog !

(",)

Im Lovin it.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?" The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." "What that tell you?" asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumber then buffalo s***. Someone has stolen tent." (",)

Welcome 2 "Trucking4mendous"

We hope you find the site interesting, we hope you learn something, and we hope to bring you some fun on a regular basis.

We start with a look a kids, you gotta love em.



A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know, "explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

(",)

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad......." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

(",)

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

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One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

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It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says i t's a bitch to iron."

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When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

(",)

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

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One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy s... a talking chicken!'"

(",)

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

(",)


A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

(",)