SAD NEWS

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Cokey" died peacefully at the age of 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in - and then the trouble started...

Local Help

The local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation
that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one
wants him to leave.

Mike Wright, who owns several car dealerships in Several towns,
stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a
new Toyota every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport
their children!'

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Ronald Ryan, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, if
the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and
establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education
of his children!'

More sighs and loud applause.

Winnie Francis, age 86, stands and announces with a smile, if the Vicar
stays, I will give him sex.'

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. Francis, whatever possessed you to
say that?'

Winnie's 90-year old husband, Bernard, is now trying to hide, holding his
forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to
side, while his wife replies: 'Well, I just asked my husband how we
could help, and he said, 'F**k the Vicar'.

Do something useful and pass me the Hair Dryer

Hitman never looked so good

Truth or Dare