Local Help

The local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation
that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one
wants him to leave.

Mike Wright, who owns several car dealerships in Several towns,
stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a
new Toyota every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport
their children!'

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Ronald Ryan, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, if
the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and
establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education
of his children!'

More sighs and loud applause.

Winnie Francis, age 86, stands and announces with a smile, if the Vicar
stays, I will give him sex.'

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. Francis, whatever possessed you to
say that?'

Winnie's 90-year old husband, Bernard, is now trying to hide, holding his
forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to
side, while his wife replies: 'Well, I just asked my husband how we
could help, and he said, 'F**k the Vicar'.