Wrong E-Mail Address

It's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology known as email can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, but with serious consequences.

Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.

His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed out just one single letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here. (",)

First Day.

A man goes into prison for the first time. He's shown to his cell and introduced to his cellmate who's a huge strapping bloke by the name of Pongo.



Pongo does not even look at him



As soon as they're left alone, Pongo stands up and says:"OK, new boy. You and me are going to get along together just fine, and do you know why?



'No' said the man.



"Well" said Pongo, "thats because we play a game everyday called Mummies and Daddies."



And seeing as this is your first day I will let you choose what you want to be.

So do you want to be the mummy or the daddy in this cell today?"



The man thinks for a bit and decides that he doesn't really fancy either, but on balance being the daddy would probably be less painful.



"I'll be the daddy, then" he tells Pongo.



"OK, No problem, now you come over here and suck mummy's cock!"



(",)

Worst day of my life

Drinking eight glasses of water a day

ERROR

Tree Hugging

While walking through Sherwood Forest, a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.

Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.

"You've gotta be kiddin' me."

"No, would you like to give it a try?"

Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it.

With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, and then stripped him naked and left.

Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the hell happened to you?"

He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there.

When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, took down his own pants before he kissed him gently behind the ear and said:

"This just ain't gonna be your lucky day, mister.

Pants

"Daddy, what is sex?"

An little girl went to her dad, who was in another part of the house.

She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.

He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees."

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.

The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?"

The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."