She wanted to feel more English

When Madonna first moved to England she said she wanted to feel more English.

Well she is now an unmarried single mother with three kids from different fathers, and one of them is black.

Well done Madge, you are now as English as Fish N Chips.

What is it with people and mobile phones?

One of my pet hates is the almost constant use of mobile phones by people while driving, shopping, dining, in line at the bank, etc.

Does no one know how to say, 'I'll call you back later?'

Well, it has gone beyond that now with phones being used in supposedly relaxing getaway places such as the beach.

For me this is just beyond inconsiderate.

While on the beach last weekend, I had to sit there and listen to this woman chatter on for at least half an hour as she pranced back and forth in front of me.

I couldn't concentrate on my book.

Sisters

The Power of Prayer‏

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him,'Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.'

'What do they say?' the priest inquired.

They say, 'Hi, we're cheap horney sluts! Do you want to bang the arse out of us?'

That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,then he thought for a moment.

'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the good book. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying . . . that phrase . . in no time.'

Oh Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.'


The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house.

As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: Hi, we're cheap horney sluts! Do you want to bang the arse out of us?'

There was stunned silence.

Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed.....

'Put the beads away, Frankie Boy. Our fu**ing prayers have just been answered!'

Question

I know some of you who read this blog are golfers and I thought you might be able to give me an answer to this question that I have.























Is that, or is that not a graphite shaft?

Today's Motivational Message

The son-of-a-bitch called me a slut

Gemma went to Samantha's place to tell her about a horrible experience she had the previous night with this guy she took back home.
"Well, what happened when you got there?" asked Samanth.
"After we had some real freaky sex, the son-of-a-bitch called me a slut!"

Somewhat shocked, Samantha asked, "What did you do then?"


"I told him to get the hell out of my bedroom, and to take his five biker friends with him!"

Amazing