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Spain set the early pace after the first round of World Cup matches.

4 Goals

3 points

Hay tres clases de personas:

There are three kinds of people:

las que saben contar y las que no.

those who know how to count, and those who don't. (",)

Three women are in club gym locker room getting ready to do a workout.

Suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head and passes the three women.

He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband," she says.

He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband either," she says.

He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her. "Wait a minute," she says. "He's not even a player at this Football Club." (",)

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE

Pat is appearing on the television quiz show 'Who wants to be a Millionaire'.

He has already reached the £64,000 mark but he only has one lifeline left which is to phone a friend."You've done really well to get this far Pat" the quizmaster says, "the next question is worth £125,000 if you decide to play.

Are you ready?"

"Sure" Pat nods."On screen is a photograph of a current Manchester United player as a small baby." the quizmaster continues, "The question is Pat, and don't forget this is for £125,000, which player is it?"

Pat looks at the picture on screen for a while and says "I'm pretty sure it's Ruud Van Nistelroy...

No, I'm sure it is... Can I phone a friend just to check?"

"OK" the quizmaster asks, "Who are going to phone?"Pat answers and pretty soon the phone is ringing and his best friend Mick picks up at the other end.

The quizmaster explains the situation to Mick and Pat asks him the same question.

Without any hesitation Mick replies "No, that's definately Paul Scholes "Pat looks concerned now "Are you sure Mick, I'm convinced that it's Ruud Van Nistelroy?"

"Definately" Mick replies."Well" the quizmaster continues, "You've used your lifeline, now I need your answer"

"OK" says Pat, looking nervous now, "But I'm sure it's Ruud Van Nistelroy, that's my final answer... Ruud Van Nistelroy."

"You had £64,000 Pat,

If you're right you win £125,000, if you're wrong you leave us with the money you've got so far..."

There's a tense drum roll and the music dips before the quizmaster speaks again"Sorry Pat, you were wrong.

Never mind, you've been a great contestant and you've won £64,000.

Here's your cheque and thanks for playing."As the audience start to applaud Pat asks,

"What was the correct answer, it's killing me!

"The quizmaster replies, "Louis Saha." (",)