Very Important Decision

A man wakes up in hospital. A doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness, that's good. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a very serious pile-up on the motorway.

But you're going to be OK, you'll walk again, you'll do everything as before, but something did happen.

Look, I'm trying to break this to you as gently as possible, you see, your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

Of course the bloke groans a bit, but the doctor goes on "But it's going to be alright. We have the technology now to build you a new one that will work just as well as your old one did - better in fact.

But the thing is, this operation doesn't come cheap. It's a thousand pounds an inch".

The bloke perks up at this, even though it's a thousand pounds an inch.

"So the thing is," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife.

I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher now, well, she might be a bit put out.

But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time she might be disappointed.

So it's very important that she plays a role.

So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day.

"So" says the doctor, "Have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have" says the fellow.

"And did she help you in making the decision?"

"Yes she did" says the bloke.

And what is it?" asks the doctor.

"We're having a new kitchen."

(",)