Hatchers, Matches & Dispatches

A very excited man rushed into the local emergency room shouting, "My wife's going to have her baby outside in the cab!"



The ER physician grabbed his bag, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear.



Suddenly he noticed that there were several cabs, and he'd gotten in the wrong one.
















The local newspaper received a phone call at the advert sales office.

A woman on the other end asked, "How much do funeral notices cost?" "£1.00 per word, Madam," came the response.

"Good, do you have a paper and pencil handy?

""Yes, Madam."

"OK, write this: 'FRED DEAD.'

"I'm sorry, Madam; I forgot to tell you there's a five-word minimum."

"Hmmph," came the reply, "You certainly did forget to tell me that."

A moment of silence......

"Got your pencil and paper?" "Yes, Madam."

"OK, print this: 'Fred Dead, Shed for Sale.' "

(",)