Today is ... FREE ADVICE DAY.

Never hire an electrician with no eyebrows.

Never get a tattoo during an earthquake.

Never wave to a friend at an auction.

Women like silent men, they think they're listining.

Never answer the phone and call to your wife, "It's your mother - long distance - thank goodness"

The best way to keep looking young is to hang around with old people.

To prevent injury to your thump while hammering, have someone else hold the nails.

Remember, when you go to court, you're putting your fate in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Don't forget that if you see someone today without a smile, give them yours.

Don't forget to look in this site tomorrow.