Talking Dog

A man is driving around the back of an old farm yard and he sees a sign in front of the house:

"Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the farmer appears and tells him the dog is in the yard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees this funny looking sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yeah," the dog replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's the story with you?"

The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was just a young pup. I wanted to help the British government, so I told MI6.

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for ten years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job in MI5 and got assigned to Gatwick airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten quid," the guy says.

"Ten quid? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him that cheap?"

"Because he's a fucking liar. He never did any of that stuff he just told you."