Oh Nurse.

Top 10 reasons to become a nurse

Pays better than fast food, though the hours aren't as good.

Fashionable shoes & sexy white uniforms.

Needles: It's better to give than to receive.

Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops....eventually.

Expose yourself to rare, exotic, & exciting new diseases.

Interesting aromas.

Do enough charting to navigate around the world.

Celebrate the holidays with all your friends.....at work.

Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.

Courteous & infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting (",)


What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?

"Some asshole has my pen!"

A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead.

"Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?" asks the doctor.

"Oh, no," replies the nurse, "I gave him eight tablets every two hours!"

At the next bed the next patient also appears half dead.

"Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every twelve hours?"

"Oops, I gave him twelve tablets every one hour," replies the nurse.

Unfortunately at the next bed the patient is well and truly lost the will to live, not an ounce of hope.

"Nurse," asks the doctor, "did you prick his boil?"

"OH MY GOODNESS!" replies the nurse. (",)

The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.(",)