Exceedingly

A guy is watching the football on TV when his parnter turns to him and says: "Honey can you fix the spotlight in the kitchen it keeps flickering"

"Fix the light, now, do I look as though I have NPower written across my forehead? I don't think so" the guy replies.

"Well could you fix the fridge door please it doesn't close properly" she adds.

"The fridge door, what now! Do I look as though I have repairman written across my forehead, I don't think so" he replies again.

"Well could you at least fix the decking out on the back of the house, some of it is breaking up and dangerous" she say despairingly.

Hey, I am trying to watch the football here for God's sake, I mean can you see B&Q written across my forehead??? No,I DON'T think so - Bollocks to all this, I'm going down to the pub to watch the game"

So off he goes and drinks until closing time.

When he returns home via the back door of course, he notices that the decking has been fixed.

On entering the kitchen, the spotlight is no longer flickering and on grabbing a beer from the fridge he is pleased to see the door closes properly.

Somewhat pleased he asked his parner how come everything is fixed.

She replies:
Well you see..... when you left I sat on the front porch crying, when suddenly this fit hunky good looking man asked why I was so upset. I told him and he said that he would happily fix everything if I would either bake him a nice cake or let him bang the arse out of me."

"So" the guy enquires "what sort of nice cake did you bake him?"

"HELLO!!!" she replies, do I have Mr Kipling written on my fucking forehead? No, I DON'T think so.