YOU'RE KINKY...

A police officer was patrolling the highway when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying.

The officer stops and approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks.

The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker.

He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up."

The cop studied the guy for a moment, and then pulled down his pants and whipped out his dick.

"Gee I guess this just isn't your lucky day, pal!"

(",)

YOU KNOW YOU'RE KINKY WHEN...

- Sticks & stones may break your bones, but that's an acceptable risk.

- You call people other than your Father "Daddy."

- Reading the word spanking makes you blush.

- Your first, favorite scout badge was for knot tying.

- Kitchen utensils are found in your bedroom.

- Tack shops: Not just for equestrians anymore.

- You own and use handcuffs, but aren't employed in law enforcement.

- You start to salivate and get aroused as you pass the local candle factory.

- Canning season gets you *really* excited.


- Citibank calls you because someone used your credit card to make a huge purchase at a tack shop in another state, and they know that you live in a metropolitan area and don't own a horse.

- Your Avon Representative politely informs you that the company has no plans to make that Eau de Leather scent you have been pestering them about.

- Your idea of Fantasy Island looks far more like "Exit to Eden" than anything they showed on TV.

- They know you by name, size, and favorite colors at four local leather shops.

- You need an 18-wheeler to haul all your toys to a party.

- Your son's Boy Scout Troop thinks you are way cool because you helped them earn their merit badge for knot tying.

(",)

A man and a woman are sitting side by side at a bar getting really wasted.

They are both really depressed.

The man asks the woman why she's so down and she replies, "My husband left me because he said I was too kinky in bed." "What a coincidence!" he said, "My wife just left me. She said I was too kinky in bed too."

So they start talking and they find that they have much in common so they decide to go to the woman's apartment and have kinky sex.

When they arrive at her apartment, she tells him she needs a few minutes so she can slip into something more comfortable.

She comes out of the bathroom with a tight, black leather outfit with a whip, handcuffs, a strap-on cock, and a 12 inch studded dildo.

Then she hurries into the kitchen and comes out with tabasco sauce, whipped cream, and a rolling pin.

Then she notices that the man is putting on his coat and is walking towards the door.

"What's going on?", she asks. "I thought you wanted to get kinky?"

He turns around and says, "I just fucked your dog and shit in your purse.

I'm all done here."

(",)