Mad March Tips on Life - Part Three

The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.

Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.

Have you ever lent someone a 20 and never seen that person

again? It was probably worth it. ,

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no feet

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse